I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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