Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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