we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
