Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
