Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
We have so much sex to catch up on
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
