its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
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