So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
NoShamevember. You game?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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