yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
