I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
