2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
