If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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