This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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