If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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