Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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