I think I died a long time ago.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
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