Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
