They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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