I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Randomize