So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
