he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
