You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
She tied me up with her honor cords...
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Randomize
