the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
He felt like a one man threesome
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
