She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
