No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
