I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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