Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
