my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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