i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize