And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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