proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
