I am full of burrito and curiosity
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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