All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
