OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
