I just gift wrapped bread.
why do cheetos always look like penises
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
