i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
