Sponge bath it is.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
