I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
