you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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