I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Sober January is a disaster.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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