does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
