We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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