Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
