Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
