Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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