Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
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