With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize
