Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
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