I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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