Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Randomize
