The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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