I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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