She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
