Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
