Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Randomize