listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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