he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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