David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
