I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
