i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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