I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
